Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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