I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
