Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
People in love make me want to vomit
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
