they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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