are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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