There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
