I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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