pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
