yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
