I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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