She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
This toilet bowl is my home.
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