Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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