I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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