Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I believe in your delicious
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
