is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
