is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
People in love make me want to vomit
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
