can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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