its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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