Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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