two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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