i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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