North Korea, Best Korea!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
