Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
