so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
