I am puke
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
