i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
