Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
