yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My dick has a subreddit
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
