Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
