Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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