the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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