I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
