I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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