maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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