Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
