What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
