i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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