I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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