I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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