I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My life is pants optional.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
