There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
There's even glitter on my cock...
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