I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
