Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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