@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
