Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
