I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
