She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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