So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
