Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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