And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
