i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
