Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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